From Roommates Back to Lovers

Yes, that was us - and no, we didn't see it coming...

So there we were, the power couple and pros in relationships and intimacy, sitting in a disconnect that had crept in slowly but deeply. Still in love, but with no clue how to get back to each other and to our sexy selves - the classic roommate scenario.

And yes, there is an embarrassment in that. To know so much and know so little about how to get out of our own mess. We have taught countless workshops on connection and intimacy, we have coached so many couples on how to ignite or reignite their relationship and eros, and still, we could not seem to turn our own (Relation)Ship around.

So what happened?!

This past year we moved through a lot of major transitions, and all of it stretched our relationship very close to its limit. We left a country where we were known as leaders in the field of love and intimacy, and moved to Portugal, a foreign country that knew nothing about us. We left behind our home, our community, our business and our identities and stepped into emptiness and the unknown. Isolation, health challenges, money pressure, it all became very real, and for the first time arguing became part of our regular routine, which was something very new to us. Rooting into a new country put us into survival. We did work well as a team, but with very little space for eros.

Somewhere along the way we started to wonder whether we would actually make it through, and if we would find our way back to each other, our connection, romance, and our magical sexy times.

That was the point where I got inspired to create something with structure that would help us work through the disconnect. It ended up becoming a book with worksheets and all, titled Reignite Connection, and yes, AI was definitely helpful to whip it into shape. After it was done, we were ready to put it to the test. On us.

We moved all the way back to the basics. We created a safe space. We opened up to deep communication again, with boundaries, ground rules and a traffic light system. We followed daily suggestions of small connection and presence: greeting each other and saying goodbye with more intention, extended hugs, and more touch. And for the first time in a long time we felt hope. A guiding light. A mutual willingness. Small shifts, and yet a big impact on how connected we feel again.

Working through the material, I can now truly say that this book was the game changer and the turning point for us. That's why I am excited to share it with you, even if that means admitting how far off track our sexy love train had gone.

And here is the part that humbles me. With all our tools and all our training, what we actually needed was simplicity, moving slowly, step by step - the "beginner stuff" we have shared with so many couples. And once we felt safe again and more emotionally connected, our bodies remembered the way home so much faster than our minds ever could.

This whole experience helped us remember something: when you have drifted apart, the way back might need small and gentle steps first. And that is what this book is. No pressure, nothing sexual (yet), just simple steps back to each other, so gentle that you could hand this book to your parents, your grown kids or your clients.

And if any of this sounds familiar, if you have been wondering how to get back to romance and connection, or if you are one of our colleagues looking for something simple to share with the couples you work with, I got you. I wrote the book we needed, we tested it, and I know it can make a real difference because the steps and the system I created are simple and doable. Come take a look: Kindle or paperback

And for those of you who are already close and craving more, the sexier sequel is on its way: deeper intimacy tools and practices

for couples ready to turn up the heat. If that's you, reply "me" and you'll be the first to know.

In love and service to love,

Heike